This past Saturday Bradley was in Asheville, skiing, on the winter retreat with Campus Outreach, the ministry that he works with at the Citadel. While he was skiing, he did a jump, fell, and was then taken to the ER and told that he had a minor concussion. I tell you this because this situation reminded me of how much I like being in control (by the way he's fine now, just out of his mind for a few hours). I didn't like that I wasn't in Asheville with Bradley...I kept thinking this wouldn't have happened if I had been there. Poor Jordan (one of my dearest friends), I texted her WAY too much, but she dealt with me and was a comfort by being near Bradley when I needed her to be.
I feel like lately the Lord is continuously showing me how my desire to be in control is not putting my trust completely in Him. I worry and think over how I'm going to get somewhere or how a certain situation is going to turn out, instead of putting my focus on Jesus and trusting that the best place to be is in His arms.
I pulled one of my favorite books off my bookshelf the other day, Strong Women Soft Hearts by Paula Rinehart. I skimmed through the chapter on trust and found this description for reaching the place of trust, "You will only know you are there when you feel a little on the edge of your chair--and yet strangely at peace...It (trust in the Lord) waits in the cool shade of surrender". When I think about how much I worry about issues or think I can change them somehow, it makes me laugh that I think my control is better than the sovereignty of God. Jesus leads us and guides us, even when we want to lean back in our chair because we feel like we are toppling over the edge, He holds us steady and feels us with "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding".
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